She Is Also a Mary Sue.

I went around to Silvermoon this morning to find an RSP that had mostly OOC information in it for my next entry. I found one, actually, and was very happy with what I found! What a perfect choice! I grinned and Screenshotted the blood elf warlock’s OOC bullcrap.

Alright! The normal wharrgarbl of “I am an elite role player and I will not do these sort of things so don’t come near me. Also, I spell magic with a K because I am totally a Wiccan in real life!” Perfect. Just what I needed for my OOC post about being OOC in RSP.

But then, I looked at her name. Kayla. I worked with a girl named Kayla. Hendrix? Like that old LSD using guy that made some really good music? I’m pretty sure that doesn’t sound Elven. Oh well, guess she just couldn’t think of a good last name using the typical blood elf pattern of VerbNoun or visa versa.

I kept reading past the OOC parts. Surely, she was an esteemed role player, since she had such high standards for the role play she will participate in, right?

Right?

Wat

You sure you wanna read the rest?

So much for being an esteemed role player, eh?

Looks like we have a Mary Sue here, ladies and gentlemen!

I have respect for Blizzard’s Lore, they have been working on it for 15 years now, most likely even longer. I play by the lore, my characters are people in this world and they are not characters but real people in this twisted, war torn world. This whole concept seems to take away from that whole idea.

It also rapes lore like a female character in one of Toni Morrison’s novels. (Okay, that joke is credited to Varendil.) EDIT: The women get raped in Toni Morrison books. And stop stealing all my good jokes! Although you linked my story, so I’ll forgive you.

Spilling Mountain Dew on the computer and waking up in the video game you’re playing? Light, why does this sound SO FAMILIAR? Protip: If you want to make a “Unique and special” backstory for your character, make sure it isn’t the plot from an anime first.

Let’s see what else we got here:

Talking about her weight and of course, her chest. BUT IT’S NOT OKAY TO LOOK GUIS, SURE SHE’S TOP HEAVY BUT DON’T YOU LOOK OR I’LL SHADOWBOLT YOU!
Singing metal lyrics around Silvermoon? Not sure if “Hammer Smashed Face” has any real lyrics to it..even if this video is telling me otherwise.
She’s calm, cool and collected..BUT SHE HAS A TEMPER SO SHE WON’T BE A VICTIM, OKAY?!
Two bumps on her brow? This can only mean HORNS~ (Looks like SOMEONE finished their Maghar quests!)

“I’m actually a human girl from Cali who of course, loves WoW so much and is totally single, but now I am INSIDE of it and totally hot and unique and one of those mysterious warlock chicks because I was such a bad ass skater girl who played video games before I got sucked away into a magical world…did I mention I have huge tits? But don’t you dare look at them, I am a single warlock who is totally TURNING into a demon. Don’t you see the horns!?”

Ya know, reading over this again, I can’t even comment any more. Maybe I’ll just hand this off to Varendil so he can have fun with it. I’m utterly spent by this bullcrap.

Lan out.

Varendil in.

Thank you, Lanuria. I never would have caught the .hack//SIGN thing. I’m just not kawaii enough.

These are the RSPs that make me regret throwing away that old vodka.

I don’t have much to add. First, it’s nice to see that Kayla’s RSP is brought to you by Mountain Dew. Do the Dew.

Second, there are so many Hendrix references that Lan missed. The fact that she’s a foxy lady, that she clearly burned the midnight lamp thinking of this story, and, of course, The Wind Cries Mary Sue. There’s also a reference to the Western Plaguelands quest All Along the Watchtowers to be made, but I’m too lazy to contrive it.

Third, and this is true of lots of people, not just Miss Kayla Sue: Nobody cares what ‘song relates to her the most.’ I mean, we already know you’re metal because you DRINK MOUNTAIN DEW and HAET TWILIGHT, plus the fact that you’re GROWING HORNS so we don’t need to see that you’re into the Guitar Hero nemeses that are Dragonforce.

Oh, and humans don’t grow bigger breasts upon becoming blood elven.

My advice for the future, Ms. Hendrix? Roleplay isn’t always about just being the person you wish you could be, at least so blatantly. I don’t wish I was Varendil, because I’m still young and have no kids IRL. Varendil’s merely a person I’m interested in, fascinated by, and that makes it easier to get under his skin and roleplay him. No one’s interested in Kayla Hendrix the human blood elf gone wrong thing, no matter how passive-aggressively you tell us to look at her breasts.

I also don’t get how a Mary Sue can hate Twilight when Bella’s the biggest one of all. Maybe in the same way homophobes are also more likely to harbor homoerotic urges of their own.

P.S.: You said pensieve when you meant pensive. Harry Potter’s not very metal, miss Dragonforce.

aestiah

SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL I CAN’T TURN MY EYES AWAY FROM HER TITS.

November 25, 2009 at 7:12 pm

Hylaudius

I’ll keep this brief. Lan, can’t tell you what to do, so I won’t try. But common decency has you blot out names or something. This? This is blatant flaming, and it is bullshit. Take it to whispers, I saw you did once, and that was fine. This is not.

January 1, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Nuellen

Aw man, I saw a real good RSP but SO UNGODLY LONG… I couldn’t believe I read the whole thing.

I wanted to screenshot the whole thing and send it to you just to try and put it up here on the blog. XD

But enough about that…

So.. unbrushed hair means you’re a junkie to her? Awesome. Nue’s totally on acid and cocaine now.. >:|

omg her RSP makes me wanna read http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2230638/1/Never_Leave_Fanfiction_Lying_Around again. I probably will but not right now.

November 27, 2009 at 6:09 am

acasualgamer

Wow jeez, if you’re this obsessed about her then why don’t you join her fan club or something? I don’t see anything wrong with her RSP. If she wants to play herself in a game then let her. If you have such a problem with her background or her RP style then report her. All I’m seeing on this website is a bunch of wanna-be elitist pricks who think they are better than everyone when they without a doubt aren’t. It’s a game, let them have their fun. If they want to be a zombie tauren DK let them. If they want to be a vampire BE let them as long as they don’t act like fucktards and attempt to god mod anyone they meet. You’re acting like people with RSPs you consider bad are going to destroy your lives and the world. Do us a favor and make a better use of internet space. Enough of this preppy high school bullshit.

November 27, 2009 at 6:11 am

Johnny

November 27, 2009 at 6:47 am

Lanuria

Yes, we are elitists. We stated that and we are okay with that. We don’t like these kinds of role play because they are a blatant “fuck you!” to Blizzard’s lore and their game.

November 27, 2009 at 12:11 pm

Alan

Hmm…a website dedicated to being a complete and total jerk to everyone. Splendid idea…Let’s all go to Barrens chat and celebrate why don’t we! Oh what being bored out of my mind brings me; on with it.

First…you made some points on her description being a little awkward, VERY clearly.

People who RP can get a little weird with their RSP’s and I’ve seen a few, some of em can be…irrational.

Anyway, on to my point, it seems that miss Kayla had a decent idea at first, though I can see her adding the description of turning into a Blood Elf, and little in detail, though iffy for some I suppose, clearly by the way the two ‘critics’ put it. Her story behind it doesn’t remind me of anything hardly, other than a twisted version of Freakazoid, though that’s about the only reference I can recall.

In defense, did you actually speak with her to see were she got her idea? Doesn’t seem like it, so basically mere assumption. Perfect, seems perfect logic to me.

Next, rolling as a demonologist as a Warlock, ok, adds to her story a bit. Showing that it’s taking its toll on her, much like Necromancy created my Kel’thuzad. Changes happened with them, why not roleplay with the Warlock going through similar changes…I see no harm done.

In defense, if you’ve followed Warcraft Lore, why bash someone who wanted to have an additive to their class to make it a bit more interesting? Is that much of a problem? Seems like there is, this seems like your taking the whole Roleplay aspect a little to literal. Why do that? It’s just a game, so what. You think by some people roleplaying in a different manner that strays from the lore, destroys the whole experience?

Last but not least, you bash her for her song. Some people might find some interest in that, and thus forming later friendships within the game. Liking DragonForce and relating Guitar Hero? Classy. I will state that I like DragonForce but not because of Guitar Hero mind you. I found them out by someone reccomending me before GH3 even came out. Their music isn’t bad, and just because there’s a DragonForce song on that game and is vastly overrated…makes no right in bashing someone like that.

So I’ll end what I have to say, so the further bashing of my comment can commense, this site is basically a waste of time. Why post this? I mean I see criticism throughout the net, but holy crap a whole site dedicated to trolling. Like the internet needs more of em.

Congrats on this accomplishment of pure and most amusing cry for attention. How sad can ya get?

November 27, 2009 at 7:24 am

Shira

So…is this the next step on the Sad Ladder, then?

November 10, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Zengu

The comments make it sooo much better.

November 28, 2009 at 4:26 am

If everyone dislikes this site, why bother commenting? Seems like a waste of valuable time to tl;dr about how this site is a waste when you can be … browsing elsewhere?

November 28, 2009 at 4:31 am

Lanuria

One word, Tiah. Butthurt.

November 28, 2009 at 4:37 am

Blair

OMG XDDDD So there is a site bashing my RSP.
Well, okay, just for a few notes, I’d like to add….
1) What the fuck is Hack sign?
2) I make spelling mistakes. Sorry about the whole penseive thing rather than pensive. I changed that anyways.
3) DragonForce was on GH3? Thanks for the info.
4) Yeah, it does sound like something I would do, being pretty clumsy, spilling Mountain Dew…
5) The character is actually me!
6) The Titans who created Azeroth also created Draenor. The Lore also states that the Titans made many worlds, other than those two, inside the Twisting Nether and the Great Beyond. Read up on the Warcraft Lore yourself as well.
7) Usually I’d disagree that my RSP was a load of crap…but actually I agree with the description was a load of crap. So I changed it back to what it was back when I started. Thanks for making me see my errors.
8) Oh, she’s not turning INTO a demon, although, generally she could because being a Demonologist, you’ve got Metamorphosis. She’s being affected by the power that she’s delved too deep in. So I have a right for her to be gradually sprouting horns.
9) RP with me, please before you assume things about the character…I’m sure you’ll actually enjoy it! I’m overall a really nice person. And I forgive you for what you did. After all it helped me xD
10) Oh another thing, there was nothing in the RSP that stated Blair was single….or Taken! So I fixed that too.

Here’s the revamped version of my RSP, for your entertainment(because I still have a bunch of OOC stuff in it) what have you.

*READ THE RSP YA FOOL!*

Picture:
tinyurl.com/yav8w82

Bio:
Kayla Blair Hendrix is a girl from the bustling city of San Francisco. One night, she was playing her most favorite game, an MMORPG called World of Warcraft, when she accidently spilled her Mountain Dew: Voltage(You gotta <3 the MD ;D) all over her hardrive! She immediately attempted to check the motherboard but it was ruined. She sadly reached into the computer to wipe the mess up, but then, there was a sudden upsurge of energy and she was sucked into the game via some sort of dimensional rift. The trip forced her body to undergo some sort of biostructural mutation into something more suitable, Karma completely against her for all the ganking and hating she had done to the Horde. So now, she lives her life in-game as a Blood Elf Warlock trying to gain friends and powers in her field of study. She often has inner conflicts about whether she should return back to the real world. She has two companions also faced the same fate as her. A overly friendly Forsaken Warrior named Johnny, and a very sensitive Blood Elf Paladin named Alan. Blair has to help them survive through the onslaught of the expansions in order to send all of them home! Will she have the courage…or the heart to face up to the challenges ahead?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Name: Kayla Blair Hendrix
Age: 18
Race: Human in RL(duh) but Blood Elf in game.
Class: Warlock
Talent: Demonology
Marital Status: In a relationship
Birthdate: May 26th (Gemini)
Song(s) that relates to her most: "Reasons To Live" by DragonForce; "I am the Warlock" by Probot; "Basketcase" by Green Day; "Lunatic Fringe" by Red Rider. Yeah, I have theme songs. So what? Deal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Physical Description:
Kayla stands only 5'5'' in height, not a very tall human woman(let alone an elf), with long, thick, coarse black hair(with often a reddish tint) that hangs lazily, framing her thin, pale, heart-shaped face down to her amazingly broad shoulders. Her cerulean eyes change shades depending on mood and how much light is on her(Besides the frequent flashing of Fel Fire). She has a straight nose and lips that look like they are glistening with Frost in which the bottom one is pierced on the bottom left side with a small spike. Her body is very slender and frail and doesn't look like it could withstand a beating. Her skin is very rough on her arms and her legs. Her arms are very long and skinny as with her hands also with long fingers(she plays bass guitar). Her legs are long too, compared with the rest of her body. Her feet are exceptionally large(she wears a 10.5 in womens and a 8 in mens). Her breasts are smaller than your average whore, and can hardly be seen (especially underneath all the baggy garments she chooses to wear). Combine that with her tomboyish attitude and you would actually think you were speaking to a guy if her face didn't give it away. Also, her right eye seems to be a tad lazier than the other.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personality:
Kayla is "one of the guys" preferring to hang out more with men than women and engaging in more manly affairs such as watching football and playing many video games for one. She's very lazy as she dresses very sloppily and can't stand to do a lot of manual labor at one time. It's a wonder she isn't FAT from all the junk she has eaten while sitting at a computer all day. Her upbeat attitude is probably why she has such a high and fast metabolism. She's very outgoing and curious and will ask questions when she feels the need to. She likes friends and being around people and hates to be alone. She has a fearsome temper which rarely emerges. She cares mostly about her friends as they are like family to her. Most of the time she'll be full of jokes, trying to make everyone about as upbeat and proactive as she is.

She does have a deep dark morbid side to her(as do us all). She usually comes right out with it, singing mainly songs by the crazy bat biting Ozzy Osbourne, making very demented faces and such. She really does not like wearing dresses unless they are dark in color. She usually tries not to flirt but can't help but blush when she passes a good looking man. She really is a bit strange…

Lately, her serious case of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder has been bothersome, especially when she get's excited and she will start to do random things, preferrably biting people and pointing out invisible undead squirrels and talking about dilectable pastries. But mainly she'll talk about whatever is on her mind, which could be phasing through five million things at once.

~~~~~~~~~

OOC: Ok, people, look, if you think I'm lore-breaking, then go cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it. I've actually come up with a way from Blair's RP to be in the lore. So, like I said, go blog about it to someone who cares.
1) I hate anime, other than Samurai Gun, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, and Ghost in the Shell. Never read Hack sign thingy.
Never seen the show either and I heard it sucks ass.
2) I just don't like level 1 godmodders. It ruins the authenticy of RPing as a level 65. Seriously.
3) Origins of the name: It's my real fucking name, don't wear it out. It's not elven for a reason. Read on.
4) I've decided to stick with my old description, so maybe all the idiots who think she mysteriously grew "fantastic" titties…So fine, I guess she's better looking like some weird gamer chick anyways ;D
5) As a random note…any person who studies the Warcraft Lore would know that the Titans that created Azeroth also made Draenor…and many, many other worlds…who's to say if they didn't create Earth? ;D
6) I make spelling errors. I apologize.
7) I ? my OOC notes. Arent they distracting?!
8) Blair is not becoming a demon. She is not a demon. Because of her deep delving into her Demonology tree, the affects on her body are generally bad. She's growing horns. So fucking what. You're just mad cos you're not that awesome JKJK
9) I play the game and enjoy criticism. Do it all you like. I'm me and that's something you elitist pricks will never be.
10) Finally, feel free to RP with me. Just don't go on about Twilight and stuff…and don't rage on me OOCly because of the way I am IC!! Sometimes, I act on impulse…

XD There ya go.

November 28, 2009 at 8:11 pm

aestiah

Cool.

November 29, 2009 at 3:50 am

Nuellen

Cool story bro.

November 29, 2009 at 6:13 am

Lanuria

Brool Story Co.

November 29, 2009 at 6:15 am

- Blair
  
  Awesome comeback, really. I was a little disappointed in seeing only the very commonly used phrase, “Cool story, bro” and all it’s combination of words. I was hoping you’d have more criticism for me, or is that just too much for your brain? Oh right, wouldn’t what what’s left of it to explode. Just go right ahead bashing other people’s RSPs, while I contact Blizzard for posting other people’s content from in-game on the internet without their permission. No, no, go ahead. I’ve got all I need.
  
  November 29, 2009 at 5:51 pm
  
- TheOriginalDragonLady
  
  In Broviet Russia, Cool Story tells YOU.
  
  April 17, 2010 at 2:33 am
  
V

So wait you’re trying to say that the titans created earth which is home to the people that created the titans?

December 2, 2009 at 2:03 pm

MyName

This actually saved me from posting your tag on Warcraftsues. Be glad it’s here, because over there, it’s much, much worse.

December 5, 2009 at 10:20 am

Erubadhron

She should consider surgery to remove the fingers from the bi and triceps of her left arm and to have it attached properly. May I recommend Undercity?

December 8, 2009 at 1:51 pm

- Yulni
  
  Anyone else reminded of Grima Wormtongue based on the picture?
  
  January 8, 2010 at 5:53 pm

Ken

Y’know, for as much “OOC bullcrap” that you say this player has, you bastards SURE ARE FULL OF IT. If it really messes with you that badly, ignore the person and avoid roleplaying with her! Nobody likes a hater-tot.

November 28, 2009 at 9:41 pm

Lanuria

We are full of OOC bullcrap in an OOC blog that we run that no one is forced to look at.

November 28, 2009 at 11:24 pm

Lex

In all fairness, .hack//sign was a pretty sweetass show guys. The first one, not the endless stream of crap that came after it.

But then again, I also love Twilight.

I has no taste.

November 29, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Jim

I am a random person using my real (Fake) name and defending that chick with the enormous tits that I was promised free gropings of if I came here and said you guys are dicks.

>:|

December 1, 2009 at 10:53 am

Varendil

We own up to being jerks on the About This Site page, so… I mean, if it makes you feel better and gets you to second base, sure. I’m slain.

December 1, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Vincentus

What was all this about again? I couldn’t hear the point over all the Q_Q.

/spraypaint – Vincentus wuz heir!

December 1, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Dinsdale

hahaha, I thought the RSP was hilariously bad, but the butthurt comments just make it that much funnier. Keep up the good work, kids.

December 2, 2009 at 3:05 am

Well, all who think it really is “bad” well, let’s just say it’s worse that you actually come on this site to bash it more, when your own RSP is probably terrible so then you come on here to make yourself look better xD

But Lan knows I just kid a lot. You know, I’m pretty sure people make terrible RSP’s just to get attention sometimes. That’s the sad part. And I didn’t really think it was THAT bad, not like the RSP with the basketball sized tits xD

December 2, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Zin

ecks dee.

December 2, 2009 at 10:35 pm

- Blair
  
  NUU MAI ECKS DEE! >:V
  
  December 3, 2009 at 5:28 pm
  
Ash

Actually my rsp is awesome, and I post it whenever I’m asked. The people I rp with like it, I like it, I tend to think that is all that matters.

I do have to give you points for not using the tits addon. /shiver

April 17, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Sekundes

I like the cut of these hater’s jibs, and wish to subscribe to your collective newsletters. this seems like a nice place to hang out while waiting for my wow forum rps to bloody update

December 2, 2009 at 11:23 pm

Zenku

Zenku, the Troll hunter, says:

If she’s not anything, then she’s nothing, meaning: she doesn’t exist, right?

December 4, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Wildia

The first thing that made me giggle when I read this is that the chick it’s about actually reads this site and has commented on a few other entries.

The second thing is that I actually saw this girl, while wandering aimlessly in Silvermoon one day (this event also led me to stay out of Silvermoon for a good three months or so).

The -third- thing is that she tries to defend herself and actually just makes the situation worse.

<3 Lan and Varen. Sure, you're elitest pricks, but you're elitest pricks who said everything and then some about this girl that I didn't. This made my day.

December 20, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Geliaenne

Agghhhhllll.
This is making me ashamed to roleplay as a Demonology warlock. >.>
Maybe I can actually find a use with my duel spec now, besides faster cloth farming!

December 26, 2009 at 5:30 pm

Ash

Oh huh a bear boo boo. Public profile, public blog. Grow thicker skin. Unless of course Lan is following you around in game trolling you, in which case she’s out of line and you should report and ignore her. Other than that? Is there a reason you’re so invested in their opinion, or anyone’s? Do you have fun? Do the people you roleplay with have fun? Yes? Why do you care about this blog, then?

April 17, 2010 at 8:21 pm

Kei

“Blair Says:

November 29, 2009 at 5:51 PM

Awesome comeback, really. I was a little disappointed in seeing only the very commonly used phrase, “Cool story, bro” and all it’s combination of words. I was hoping you’d have more criticism for me, or is that just too much for your brain? Oh right, wouldn’t what what’s left of it to explode. Just go right ahead bashing other people’s RSPs, while I contact Blizzard for posting other people’s content from in-game on the internet without their permission. No, no, go ahead. I’ve got all I need.”

So you’re going to report to Blizzard that someone posted something from a third-party addon somewhere else and that it’s copyright? No, sorry. Won’t fly. There are people who put incredibly explicit sexual material in their RSP and Blizzard can’t and won’t do a damned thing about it because it’s a third-party addon. So go ahead and report your little heart out, they’ll only shrug you off.

April 18, 2010 at 11:19 pm

Vlasta

I believe that this was the most fantastic thing I’ve read all night…

To the point of sharing it on my Facebook and with every other person I know.

<3s To you all.

May 29, 2010 at 12:20 am

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