Hyl People
In the vein of things not being things, from the same player that brought us yesterday’s not-an-MRP comes today’s not-a-blood elf.
Click to embiggen
The name is a typical, Blood Elfy name with an unnecessary Y in it. Spelling things with Ys makes them cool, y’know. Take it from Varendyl and Lanurya.
“You look upon this Elf and the first thing you notice is his age. He is but a child, equal to the age of ten of a human.” Okay. If we know that a character and their parent are both the same person, is it still fair to wonder where the hell your mother is? “He wanders around in the tiny armor that was custom made for him, and tiny replicas of weapons the adults use.” D’aww. He’s an adorable little twisted mockery of the actual existence of child soldiers.
“His voice is curious and imaginitive, slightly deeper then [sic] average.” It’s nice to know this kid’s so mature he sounds like Barry White or something. Lots of ten year olds have hexed Fluttershy’s voice. How, though, can you hear how imaginative someone is from their vocal cords?
“Another thing you can notice about his is his ears. They are short, very short. And are pointed and stick out to the side rather than straight upwards. ((Think of Link’s ears from Legend of Zelda.)) His eyes are yellow instead of Fel green… There is a chance he might not even be an elf at all…” But you called him one yourself earlier… with a capital E… that apparently also stands for ellipsis…
“K—’s father, T. S. , is a mage.” Evidently these Hylian elves shed one letter of their parent’s name traditionally every generation. “His mother, J, is a sneaky rogue.” One parent gets an adjective and the other doesn’t? Guess we know who he loves more. “K— likes to hit things.” That’s not a profession, that’s every ten-year-old ever.
“((Now me and a friend have come up with a small branch of race of Sin’dorei. Im not creating my own lore but this does sound legit with no holes.))” No, not your own lore, just your own dictionary where every word in the second sentence, including ‘im,’ means something entirely different than it does in English. That’s the only way to make this not entirely contradictory.
“If you notice, K— looks nothing like a Blood elf, but his father is a Sin’Dorei.” Then he looks at least 50% like a blood elf. “His mother, however, is not. His mother is known as a “Salican Elf.” Ah! Salican is right here in my Big Book of Elven Branches, right above Sellickan elves, which all wear terrific mustaches. “A small branch race of Quel’dorai [sic] that came around when the Sin’dorei did. They did not suffer the mana addiction, and the Sin’dorei enslaved them for being ‘Impure.’” So a branch of people broke off ten years ago from a group with a mana addiction and discovered that by shedding a letter from their names and six inches from their ears that they could free themselves from their symbiosis with magic. And the blood elves, who haven’t had anything else to do for the past few years, enslaved them. “Now they hide in unknown locations, living in peace.” Like most slaves. “Some, however, leave the village or are sent away to find love outside their peaceful homes. This causes the Salican genes to be passed on and grow unnoticed.” The goal of any tribe is obscurity. “K— simply took alot of his Mother’s Genes, but he considers himself Sin’Dorei.” Actually, he took half of his mother’s genes. Because that’s how sexual reproduction works.
How can we make this better? By not being it. Seriously. Children in combat really don’t stand a chance, so if you’re doing anything other than pacing Silvermoon on this fellow, you’re asking for trouble.
The elephant in the room, the Salican elf thing, is a big ball of nothing. It’s being special for the sake of being special, and that’s not only pointless, it’s unattractive. It’s the roleplay equivalent of those giant glasses girls wear or shirts that have the name of the company that sells the shirt on it.
You are creating your own lore, it’s not legit, and it has lots of holes. Draw a big old line through it and stick to one of the existing kinds of elves.
Lanuria Dawnblade, a.k.a. Courtney Adler, aspires. She's an aspiring DM, aspiring photographer, and aspiring wife. She lives in Monroe, Wisconsin and complains about the weather far too much. She enjoys The Big Bang Theory and singing the songs from Glee.
Varendil Dawnblade, a.k.a. Taylor Vincent, is a 22-year old writer, student, World of Warcraft player, and 4th Edition DM. He lives in Monroe, Wisconsin with his fiancé and their jade plant, Esmeralda. He likes Douglas Adams and The Venture Bros. He hates Toni Morrison. Don't even ask. 
I actually want to create an elf with a terrific moustache now.
October 12, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Blood elves can’t grow any substantial facial hair, and thus will always be less manly than Night Elves. DEAL WITH IT.
October 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Why is there elves with long beards then in comics? Hah!
October 12, 2011 at 3:27 pm
They’re probably the hella old ones with a fair amount of kaldorei atavism about them.
October 12, 2011 at 3:53 pm
See, if they were night elves they wouldn’t have this problem. *nod*
In all seriousness, though, blood elves seem capable of having small chin patches and that’s about it. That’s all we’ve ever seen in-game, and I’d go off of that mostly because I haven’t read any of the comics and don’t really care to.
And now we’re on a tangent.
October 12, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Clearly they’re Amish.
October 12, 2011 at 8:29 pm
“K— likes to hit things.”
Just so you know, in the image itself you left the name in there. The Link ears made me die inside.
October 12, 2011 at 6:48 pm
Unnecessary ‘Y’, eh? D:
I think Melorya looks better than Meloria, though. :c
But… yep. This certainly isn’t a character that could go very far in roleplay. What is it, some kind of Hylian childgod destined for greatness? Where did the yellow eyes come from?
Reminds me of something off of fanfiction.net.
But perhaps there’s a possibility that this person is a little kid.
October 12, 2011 at 7:13 pm
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
I wonder what an Alot of Mother’s Genes would look like.
October 12, 2011 at 8:24 pm
Thank you for this…
And now I’m sure I’ll never make that mistake again
October 13, 2011 at 3:22 am
Ever since the OOC comment of Legend of Zelda ears, I can’t get the image out of my head that this toon is Link, and he’s on his way to rescue the princess.
Child who fights? Check. Specifically tailored armor/clothes/whatevs? Check. Mockery weapons (Deku shield, wooden sword, etc.)? Check. He’s even got the ears.
But instead of making up a different branch of elves, why not just say his father had a Night Elf fetish, and he met a NElf who had a BElf fetish, and they made sexy times? That’s much more believable than Salican Elf.
I mean, the Hyrulians’ ears don’t exactly go Alfalfa from Lil’ Rascals. (At least my fuzzy memory thinks it’s him). They went back like most ears. So… Again. Previous paragraph.
Sexy times.
October 12, 2011 at 8:35 pm
“But instead of making up a different branch of elves, why not just say his father had a Night Elf fetish, and he met a NElf who had a BElf fetish, and they made sexy times? That’s much more believable than Salican Elf.”
They hate eachother with a passion as a race. That’s why. NE’s have long memories and if they weren’t present at the sundering, they were indoctrinated with the teachings about it. And how it nearly destroyed their people. And how later, after giving the Highbourne a second chance, those same highbourne misused that trust and set an arcane storm on their people, nearly killing them all again.
NE’s aren’t a forgiving race, and have long memories, both literally and figuratively.
October 13, 2011 at 3:25 am
You’re very right about that. Hence my “fetish” comment.
October 13, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Just call me Kya’phus. That’s more elfy. That, and the Link ears.
October 12, 2011 at 10:02 pm
SO Faewynn already is uberlefy (tha’s my rogue there). But let’s make it Fy’w'ynn! Now it looks elfier! And welsh.
October 13, 2011 at 2:39 am
Oh, light. Now I know.
“((Now me and a friend have come up with a small branch of race of Sin’dorei. Im not creating my own lore but this does sound legit with no holes.))”
Yeeeaaaahhh….no, no, you’re cooking up your own lore, man, sorry to say. So much fail there, it’s really not a salvageable idea for in-game WoW RP.
October 12, 2011 at 10:46 pm
Kharii says disregard Ys and add yourself another i! (actually I just did that cus when I switched servers there was a gnome Khari there and I had to add that damn i like I’m Steve Job’s lovechild or something)
October 13, 2011 at 2:41 am
“He wanders around in the tiny armor that was custom made for him, and tiny replicas of weapons the adults use.”
Holy crap his family must be ridiculously wealthy to be able to supply them with his own fitting armour and weapons! I mean there has been armour made for small kids of kings and such. But the problem is that kids outgrow it at one point, and that can happen pretty fast. Especially if it is custom made to fit. Kids grow up, they become taller. Besides that every kid has a different build, so if it custom made for this kid specifically then it is unlikely a next kid will be able to comfortably wear it, so after he grows a centimeter or so, the entire armour can be thrown away, or remelted to re-custom-make it for this kid.
“His voice is curious and imaginitive, slightly deeper then [sic] average.”
While a child’s voice can sound curious, heck they do most of the time anyway, I too have trouble seeing how a voice can be ‘imaginanitive’…
Also had the same Barry White image in my head
“((Now me and a friend have come up with a small branch of race of Sin’dorei. Im not creating my own lore but this does sound legit with no holes.))”
Just because you say it sounds legit and has no holes doesnot make it so. In the same way that just because people say god exists doesnot make that true. He either does or doesn’t. Saying either doesnot make it true eitherway. Same as just because it is written he doesdoesn’t make it true either, because I write here and now that he doesn’t make it untrue. (Imo he ofcourse doesn’t, but that’s not the point I’m trying to convey)
October 13, 2011 at 3:41 am
I’m betting the curious voice amounts to him asking “why” over and over during RP.
Also thanks about mentioning that with the armor <3 I was wondering how oftern he gets that re-fitted. I mean, chainmail could be adjusted, not really easily, but at least easier than plate. And seeing as he's a warrior, I'm betting he's running in some heirloom plate stuff.
October 14, 2011 at 1:55 am
I want to find this person and punt them. Child RPers make me want to hurt people. They never act like children, they are either precocious geniuses or lisping morons and either way they’re the most annoying thing in RP ever, worse than vampire demon catgirls.
October 13, 2011 at 7:45 am
But…but…Kids are sooooo cute if roleplayed properly! But a kid in armor with a weapon screeeeeaaaaams bad parental guidance! Bah, -NO WAY- will I ever place a mace, sword, dagger or..Staff for that matter in the hands of a child, totally screams ‘Social Services take my child away, I’m a bad parent for condoning violence!’
Sorry, had to say it.
October 13, 2011 at 9:53 am
To be fair, I doubt that’d happen on Azeroth. This would be a lot more prbable had this been an orc child, however. I mean, there’s this soldier that took his son to Northrend just to let him see how war works. Trolls maybe, touren doubtfuly. Blood Elves? Uh, no idea. I can imagine their kids running around with wooden swords and kitchenware on their heads as makeshift helmets, but real deal swords, not so much.
October 14, 2011 at 1:57 am
Well, atleast Anduin is like 14 or 15 when we drag him around Stormwind
October 14, 2011 at 4:09 am
And totally forget the capitalization of random letters, what on earth was I thinking and typing at the same time?
October 13, 2011 at 9:56 am
… Kill it with fire. That is all.
October 13, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Oh, look, it’s a half-Sicilian elf. I wonder if his mother was in the mafia.
October 14, 2011 at 6:36 am
*Tosses papers. Walks out*
October 14, 2011 at 12:21 pm
I stopped reading after the fluttershy refrence. *brohoof*
October 15, 2011 at 12:00 pm
I could see this kid, maybe instead of being this made up elf race, being a regular blood elf who likes to play dress up, and every time his parents drag him out to go shopping and such, he sneaks off while they’re not paying close attention and starts acting like he’s a badass grown up because he’s got a wooden sword at his hip or on his back or whatever. And he could approach people who look like seasoned adventurers, and puff out his chest all confident like and ask stuff such as, “So how many monsters did you slay today, sir/miss?” until his parents find him and drag him away hopefully before anything bad happens. LOL Maybe I’m crazy, but that would be actually kind of adorable.
And…I suppose if the special race thing had to exist in a revised version of this, maybe it could be something all in the kid’s head? Like he sees and hears about how his kind and other races originate from another race, and he doesn’t quite yet grasp how races can evolve and change. So, he gets it in his head that he wants to be the first of his own race so that he can be special and neat. Though of course his dream probably wouldn’t ever come true since it’s not that simple. Maybe neglectful parenting leaves him with some identity issues, and basically has him believing: “Well my parents don’t pay much attention to me, but maybe if I were my own special thing that was twice as good as a regular Sin’dorei, they’d be impressed and pay more attention to me?”
I didn’t do a very good job of suggesting an alternative, but I think that with a lot of cleaning up and polishing, this RSP could become a decent base for a character. Sticking with common lore instead of making custom races is the best route to take. Saves a lot of explaining as well. Child characters are pretty cool when played like actual children. And yeah there ARE very young children out there who are shockingly legitimately mature for their age. Although in cases I’ve seen, those kids usually seem like they have a large weight on their shoulders since normally when they’ve matured so quickly like that, it’s because they pretty much have no choice but to grow up right away and not get the chance to have a childhood for whatever reason.
I won’t go into too huge of a thing about all the possibilities of how a child character may begin to act under certain circumstances, but child characters have a lot of potential in my opinion. They don’t have to be super geared out, super strong, super adorable, or super witty in order to be something unique and interesting. It’s hard enough growing up as just a regular kid in a relatively calm environment, so it must be even more of a struggle trying to grow up during all this war and conflict that Azeroth has. How that could alter the way of thinking and behavior of a kid is enough in itself to be really intriguing and special.
Also, it’s always pretty neat to see people playing characters not at the young adult age! It’d be cool to see more child/teen/middle aged/elder characters out there. Especially elder characters since I see the least of those. I know you guys are out there somewhere, playing bingo and going to the early bird specials!
October 27, 2011 at 7:06 am
Er, I should probably mention that when I say I don’t see many elder characters, I mean like…not of the races that DON’T stay all super young and hot for insanely long periods of time like night elves and whatnot.
Dear god I just got the mental image in my head of Malfurion taking out his teeth and putting them into a glass before he went to go take that long snooze. I’m going to go laugh myself to sleep now. So tired…
October 27, 2011 at 7:12 am
lol sounds like fun, if you like blood elfs you should come check out Covenant of the sindorei on Draenor EU
August 10, 2012 at 8:25 am