Home Alone
So Lanuria’s off at UFO Days or something in the town we specifically avoid when driving to the Big City. This mean’s that I’m all alone! I can do all sorts of crazy things, like not blur names out and not offer constructive criticism and post RSPs from two months ago because they’re still heinous! I can also contemplate the big questions, like “Is it okay to post an RSP because one line is bad?” Does one larceny make someone a criminal?
Can you spot the problem area?
I guess the more fitting question is “does one rape make one a rapist?” How about many rapes? I’m having fun imagining some fellow - like a Bill Nighy looking chap – in a bow tie being the counterpoint on Situation Arena with Wolf Blitzen or whatever it is going “Actually, to be a rapist, it must be habitual…”
Getting In the Mooooooood
Better than Getting in the Ood, I shudder to think of what parts they have.
“Shu’halo-Goblin-Orc (don’t ask)” I am afraid I must ask.
Not Safe for Society (Or Work)
You know it’s going to be a good day when this is the first thing you see on an MRP window.
As you can tell, this post is not going to be safe for work or most of the reading area.
Putting the Con in Conjunctivitis
RP pet peeve #1297: People who chose the last names of their characters based on what they are now. Your dark, crazy assassin Darkblade was most likely born Daybreak or something not so…cliché.
Constructive
We’re a bastion of positive and reinforcing energy here.
Almost typed that with a straight face.
I think we should be helpful here, folks. Poor guy just wants to get his poor, apparently-beggars-can-be-choosers rocks off. So here’s what we do: (more…)
The Island of Misfit Toys (With Bonus Contest!)
Lan here! I don’t have a good opening for this MRP, so I am going to just post it.
If you press this button, it'll embiggen!
‘Deathscrew’ is the kind of name I want plastered all over my vibrators!
Blink and You’ll Miss It
Nothing out of the ordinary today, RPL fans. Just an ordinary ERP alt.
Click to see it all!
Pining for the Fjords
It’s like a good idea, except not.
Click to embiggen, but not quite enough - you may want to squint.
Thanks to Grashkah for the submission. You people really do keep us going.
All Annadria, All the Time
Only fitting that a few weeks after I get into a Dark Sun game, this comes a-floating into my inbox, thanks to commenter Palindrome.
Click to embiggen.
“‘Lady’ ‘Half-breed’ ‘Vermin’ ‘Ranger’” Heart? Seriously, though, worst list of potential tramp stamps ever. Follow me past the break where we end up in “da” club getting our Moongrind on.
Dagny and Lacey
Gentlemen… behold!
Click to embiggen.
When the words are misspelled, at least you know they’re not abusing the thesaurus directly. Let’s take a look inside.
You Can’t Spell ‘Oviposition’ without P-O-S
Lan here. I was proud of everyone that commented on the last post. Well-thought-out arguments, no ad hominem attacks, a perfect example of two mature parties discussing things and getting to understand each other’s point of view. But now I want to ruin all that for you.
The below RSP is not safe for work/lunch/sentient beings.
There’s Nothing More Attractive Than a Useless Helpless Girl, Right?
Varendil and I are back from our riffing vacation. The show was fabulous and if you ever get the chance to check out Cinematic Titanic in person, do it. Three hours of nonstop laughter. Now that we are back, though, it’s time to get to work.
The Hardest Button to Button [Slightly NSFW]
There are times we get things that just make us shake our head and wonder if anyone has been listening to us this past year and (almost) a half. This is one of those.
A royal banker and an extremely Jewish sounding last name? I would be slightly offended if I didn’t make that joke myself.
The Ruin [Second Half NSFW]
How was everyone’s Festivus? We come bearing a real gift.
- Warm up!
Say what you want about us, but at least we don’t turn off all forms of communication and get pissy when someone approaches us, in character, on a roleplaying server. (If you see us around, do come say hello!)
Genore-ous Proportions
Sometimes we just spot a female (well, futa) character and can tell, right away, that a male is playing the character. Sometimes it’s subtle and sometimes it’s painfully obvious.
Besides the “((18+! NO MEN))”, there’s another clue that roughly half of you should catch. We’ll tell you at the end of the post.
“She stands at normal height, regardless of worgen or human form.” What’s the alternative, that she’s shorter than herself? “Unlike most who have fully embraced their curse/gift, she prefers to switch back and forth whenever she likes.” I think most people like to do things when they like to, yes. However, I’m gonna argue that most worgen didn’t embrace their gift. I’m guessing most of them didn’t have a choice. I’m also guessing most of them didn’t really ‘embrace’ their curse so much as they got it injected into them by fangs and succumbed to it. But that’s just me.
“Beneath her robes, she is completely nude, her nipples pressed against the fabric of her robes, and a slight bulge apparent.” He/she doesn’t say where the bulge is, so it could be her penis, or she could just be preggers. I’d also like to point out that just about everyone is naked under their clothes and that of course her nipples are pressed against her fabric, the dress isn’t floating an inch above her goddamned skin.
“She is a futa. 10 inches when human, and 15 inches when worgen, with a 5 inch thick knot at the base.” Oh, yeah, you have to tie a knot in the base so it doesn’t fall off in the goddamned canyons that a 10 or 15 inch penis would gouge into a woman. Good Lord. It also doubles as a repelling rope!
How can we make this better? Blah blah standard “fetishes are fine but biology is fun” speech. You may also want to consider telling us things that are not inherently obvious about your character.
So, did you spot the other clue?
Our women readers should spot the fact that his/her bust size is measured in odd numbers. For our male readers (and Varendil), bra sizes come in even numbers and are rarely measured in odd numbers. Nothing screams ‘I’ve never seen a real boob before!’ like getting the bust size completely wrong.
Spot of Good Advice: Rape is Not a Backstory.
This is a subject close to my heart, but not in that way.
Click to embiggen
This RSP is being used purely as an example today, folks!
Anachronism Theatre
I don’t think I can do a witty intro for this one without some booze in my system.
Click to embiggen
Varendil, fetch me my rum! This is going to be a doozy.
‘Macro’ as a Double Entendre [Not Remotely SFW]
Since we had so much fun with the last one, it’s time for another image thread!
Please don’t click through if you don’t like the ERP-based stuff we do here. Like, seriously. And to those of you on the RSS feed that see it all anyway, I apologize.
FFA: She’s Back! [NSFW]
Varen here. Which she? Only our most infamous subject since the guy that pretended to kill himself. “In-house,” so to speak, Lan and I refer to her simply as Bestiality Girl.
'Embiggen' feels dirty in this case. Click for full wall of text.
Don’t read all of it, please. I fear for your health. On the other hand, click through to see me break my rule on ad hominem attacks twice.
Ooh-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah! [NSF Rev. Sharpton or Work]
“Mature Roleplayer Seeks Actual Roleplay.” Varen here. See, that’s nice. I can empathize with that. This holds promise.
Click to embiggen.
Let’s make an analogy. That first line is the joy of launching your vehicle of choice off of a ramp. The rest of the RSP is the slow, terrible realization that you’re not going to make it to the other side of the gorge.
FNFFA: Trouser Serphent
EDIT: Credit to Daivick for the pics.
For tonight’s Friday Night Free-For-All, our first ever request. The large number of you that live on Moon Guard might already know this fellow/lass, but for the rest of you: you’re in for a treat.
Two weeks ago a fellow on Moon Guard posts an introduction to his character on the forums. Click that link, the thread is worth a laugh. The character is a girl that is kidnapped by naga and starts getting transformed into one of them? I guess? Behold: Aihuna Stoneshield.
8-3-10 NEVAR FORGET
As most of you know, Varendil and I come from the server of Moon Guard. Moon Guard is a server with a VERY high population and with that high population comes fabulous role play and, of course, the bad. Along with this comes the mysterious Goldshire, a place our server has been known for amongst most other RP servers and even those awesome PvP servers.
Lanuria Dawnblade, a.k.a. Courtney Adler, aspires. She's an aspiring DM, aspiring photographer, and aspiring wife. She lives in Monroe, Wisconsin and complains about the weather far too much. She enjoys The Big Bang Theory and singing the songs from Glee.
Varendil Dawnblade, a.k.a. Taylor Vincent, is a 22-year old writer, student, World of Warcraft player, and 4th Edition DM. He lives in Monroe, Wisconsin with his fiancé and their jade plant, Esmeralda. He likes Douglas Adams and The Venture Bros. He hates Toni Morrison. Don't even ask. 
