Dire in More Ways than One
I’m nothing special. I’m just a normal purple-eyed giant tri-racial bear.
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There might be quicker turnarounds in the history of the site, but this one’s the steepest. (more…)
Admiral Ackbar was Always Good at Yu-Gi-Oh
With all the excitement of the new patch and Deathwing goodness, we forgot about this war’s saddest victims: black dragon roleplayers.
“Appears human” is one of those sentences that just leaves you asking ‘why?’
Hybrid Theory
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Because both trolls and blood elves are known for their baronies, correct?
Putting the Con in Conjunctivitis
RP pet peeve #1297: People who chose the last names of their characters based on what they are now. Your dark, crazy assassin Darkblade was most likely born Daybreak or something not so…cliché.
Shut Up, Archimonde! You’re Not My Real Dad!
I’m pretty new to Kaldorei lore. I’m getting into the lore with my new druid, who just hit 85 (Run me through heroics, dammit!) and I’m interested in meeting other Kaldorei roleplayers. (Say hi to me ICly, ya ya?)
Sadly, when I am in Stormwind (Which is much of the time because Darnassus is so confusing in terms of banks and AHs and my guild RPs there), I usually find night elves like this.
Extremely tall night elf half Eredar in red armor that isn’t Mongraa? What has this world come to?!
Morning, Angle
I don’t know about everyone out there, but I certainly needed a nap after the appearance tab of this fellow. Now for the bio.
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Nightmare Moon-whisper
Of course I’m gonna make the My Little Pony joke. Hope you liked it, because it’s the last bit of joy you’re going to have for a little while.
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“Fallen Archangle” Is that supposed to say Archangel, or is this some new rank thing? Have to be clearer and less obtuse.
Murdered When She was 17. Murdered When She was 17.
Lan here. I’ve been busy, working two jobs and all. It’s hard work, lemme tell you! I wish I could make money off this blog, but I don’t know how I would like to get paid. By the page view? By the comments?
This MRP is taller than she is.
No, I think I would make more by earning X amount per cliché.
What the Fel?!
Lanuria here! I’ve been gone for a while thanks to vacations and training for my second job, but things are settling down and I’m ready to get back to writing for your enjoyment!
My vacation was great, for those who care. My nephew, who is almost four, is turning into quite the little nerd. Maybe in a few years he will be getting his own computer, a WoW account and learning how to make a decent, lore following character.
Or he’ll turn into whatever the hell this is. I can only pray to the nerd gods above that this fate doesn’t befall my geeky little nephew.
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Why wouldn’t someone want to walk up and talk to someone with a roleplaying style of “Devious/Aggresive Full-Time”, sounds like a fun time to me. So does the “Race: Fel Orc” bit!
Dagny and Lacey
Gentlemen… behold!
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When the words are misspelled, at least you know they’re not abusing the thesaurus directly. Let’s take a look inside.
Imperi-No!
Lan here, relieved to offer a death knight that isn’t a vampire.
You will read this.
Let’s play Count the Clichés! Are you ready?
Be Cool
Like… I don’t even want to tear it apart. It’s all so obviously contradictory. The whining about good English, the complaint about godmoding…
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Okay. Here’s what we’ll do.
Pot to Kettle: You Black, I’ll Kill You
The smallest iota of self-awareness and I’d call this a troll, but I have so little faith in roleplaydom at this point that I’m willing to believe almost anything.
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Dear God, what does qualify as a failure to you?
Seriously?!
You named your oracle “Delphi?”
That’s not her Justice League name or anything, that is her straight up first name. Terrific.
Have You Heard the News That You’re
I never think I liked you anyway.
Embigg'n Rich.
“Wanted Bounty Head shockingly Amani, Hexed madwoman” sounds like something our spam filter would catch. Regenerate faster! Harder!
And Here I Thought We Were Playing WoW!
The best characters are obviously the ones that make you forget you’re even playing World of Warcraft!
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Usually when an RSP starts off with ((Wiped, will re-write when I’m bored. For now: What you see is what you get, you think you’re going to get a nice, simple little description that was whipped up in a few minutes. Part of me wants to see the complete, not hurried version. Not to read all seven hundred pages, mind you, but to be amused by its existence.
Ooh-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah! [NSF Rev. Sharpton or Work]
“Mature Roleplayer Seeks Actual Roleplay.” Varen here. See, that’s nice. I can empathize with that. This holds promise.
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Let’s make an analogy. That first line is the joy of launching your vehicle of choice off of a ramp. The rest of the RSP is the slow, terrible realization that you’re not going to make it to the other side of the gorge.
Sha-Na-No-God-No
-Walks back in, picking up the mic once more-
And then this! His goddamned pimpette!
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Facelesspalm
Varendil here. Sometimes I like to skimp out a bit on long RSPs. Long posts can be boring, sometimes it’s been like a week since we’ve updated and I want to get something out there, and I simply get exhausted from that much bad writing (which is why I don’t know how I ever finished Beloved. Ba-zing, flamewar at the bottom of the page!). For the real monsters, though, the messes of wonkiness, I feel like I owe them. If someone’s going to spend this much time writing bad stuff, the least I can do is parse through it, correct?
A mere sample. Click to embiggen.
Assuming you haven’t scampered into the woods after reading that, I’ll begin. Gird your sanity, because with its contradictions and logical gaps, this RSP really is a true Lovecraftian horror.
Fluorescent Adolescent
Well, at least he admits it.
It’s tricky when you’re dealing with someone that knows their idea sounds stupid but just keeps plugging it. Maybe I should ask Alan Colmes how he did it for so long.
In Which Varendil is Seduced by a Sue
And not Sue Sylvester, though that would be hot.
I don’t have anything witty to say to introduce this RSP. It’s simple god-modey Purple-Sues like these that keep this blog alive.
I’d like to apologize in advance to Kelley.
You Are Horribly Wrong
Well, after all the drama and goings-on around here of late, we figured it’d be best to get back into the groove with a nice, easy, low-hanging fruit.
See? Don’t you feel better already? (more…)
I Shoot Malice Into the Marrowdarkness
Sometimes I hope you readers are grateful. Some days we get RSPs that make it hard to make any joke other than LOLOLOL 16 YEAR OLD BOY. Today is one of those, but durn it, we’ve done our best and we’re not sinking to that level.
Today we have a nice wall of text by Marrowdark Voldrune who is, in fact, “The Messiah.” But a Messiah of what? Is Marrowdark here to save us from our transgressions? Is Marrowdark here to lead us to the Promised Lands?
Lanuria Dawnblade, a.k.a. Courtney Adler, aspires. She's an aspiring DM, aspiring photographer, and aspiring wife. She lives in Monroe, Wisconsin and complains about the weather far too much. She enjoys The Big Bang Theory and singing the songs from Glee.
Varendil Dawnblade, a.k.a. Taylor Vincent, is a 22-year old writer, student, World of Warcraft player, and 4th Edition DM. He lives in Monroe, Wisconsin with his fiancé and their jade plant, Esmeralda. He likes Douglas Adams and The Venture Bros. He hates Toni Morrison. Don't even ask. 
