Hyl People
In the vein of things not being things, from the same player that brought us yesterday’s not-an-MRP comes today’s not-a-blood elf.
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The name is a typical, Blood Elfy name with an unnecessary Y in it. Spelling things with Ys makes them cool, y’know. Take it from Varendyl and Lanurya.
Much Ado About Nothing
When is an RSP not an RSP? When it’s a Facebook wall.
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I simply don’t have the words.
Admiral Ackbar was Always Good at Yu-Gi-Oh
With all the excitement of the new patch and Deathwing goodness, we forgot about this war’s saddest victims: black dragon roleplayers.
“Appears human” is one of those sentences that just leaves you asking ‘why?’
Getting In the Mooooooood
Better than Getting in the Ood, I shudder to think of what parts they have.
“Shu’halo-Goblin-Orc (don’t ask)” I am afraid I must ask.
Skitter Done
Before we jump into the post today, you’ll notice something a bit different. Yes, the names have been edited out and no servers are going to be mentioned. RPL is about showcasing bad so we can all become better, but not about shaming those who do want to get better. That being said, if you do know the person who has the MRP/RSP in question, we ask you not mention the name in the comments. If the author of the MRP wishes to come into the thread to defend his or her character and give the name of the character, then all is fair game.
We may change the rules around for repeat offenders, though. Not sure yet.
Now that that is out of the way, let’s get to work, shall we? We have been featuring a lot of…well, normalish for this site type of characters. Demon hunters, rape alts, etc. But today is an RPL first! Our first Nerubian. Ready your cans of gasoline and get your game face on, we have a giant spider on our hands!
Fuck that shit!
Ring Ring Ring Sandelphone
One who splits quills? Is there a big demand for that?
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Thanks to reader Silver for sending this one in. You were always cool, what with your Lugia and all.
Trolls Trolling Trolls
Reader Corey L. posted the following video to our Facebook page:
I could only make it four minutes in.
Soul Survivor
Lan here. Moving sucks, but I liked having an excuse to do some interior decorating and paint huffing.
“Her dead like gaze.” What about the dead like gaze?! Argh, the suspense!
“Her hair used to be red but now has gone black and night all on its own.” Glad to see her hair finally struck out on its own to become a different color and a time of day.
“Her slender form some times can seem swallowed by the armor she wears,” Actually, I like this. Makes me want to know if the character is wearing some hand me downs or some family heirlooms that don’t fit her very well! We don’t know why they are big on her, but now I want to know.
The physical description a bit brief, so off we go to the Biography!
“Never born.” Now we are getting into a Neil Gaiman shit over here.
“Ruana was the soul of the unborn twin to Aurakai.”
This womb aint big enough for the both of us.
“Aurakai lived life as a good priestess tending to her family, when her ex fiancee came to make her join the rank of the twilight hammer cultist.” How can you be engaged to someone and not know they are part of the Twilight’s Hammer? That would be like if Varendil was a Klansman in his free time and I never asked any questions about that weird ghost costume in the closet.
“Aurakai refused to join him and thus she watched her sister and mother die, gutted infront of her eyes.” Needless murder? In my backstory!?
“Her brother killed her pregnate sister.” Wait, brother? When the hell did he come in? Did he just see this guy going to town on his family and climb through the window and join in on the fun? “and her fiancee killed her mother. He then stabbed her with the intentions of weakening her, so he could take her to be changed forcefully.” You don’t just get transformed into a cultist. He could have done without the needless murder if he just gave her some propaganda pamphlets.
“Kazshara hid herself listening and waiting.” Is this a different story now? Who the hell is this person!? Did she come in through the window with the brother?
“She ordered her pet to go start a fight with something to create a distraction. It worked as she has hoped and Kezshara had the time needed to drag the priestess from the home.”
“Go, Boots! Go attack that couch and distract the men stabbing these people so I can drag this 253 pound elf away from the crazy people!”
“The priestess that was healing her saw no other way to save her but use the soul of a dying elderly priestess.” I am getting confused by how my priestess there are in this story. Also, why would use the soul of a dying woman to save another dying woman? Do they just cancel each other out, like negative numbers?
“Liliana was good and pure in heart, but the soul of Ruana was awakened, and quickly took over the soul of Liliana, using the power her soul gave her to take over Aurakai’s body.”
I…What.
“Once and a while Aurakai takes back over” Wait, I thought she was dead and now it was Ruana/Liliana in the body of Aurakai. This is getting harder and harder to follow. “Ruana has everyone believing that Liliana was evil but infact it was Ruana the whole time doing evil things.”
What the hell did I just read?
Okay, let me get this straight. Elf is born, but her twin’s soul was absorbed into her body somehow. Priest falls in love with some crazy bastard, he tries to kill her to get her to join the Twilight’s Hammer and some other elf with a Japanese name drags her away to another priest who puts the soul of another priest in the body of the one priest to save her, but her absorbed twin sister’s soul takes over because of I-don’t-fucking-know and now she goes about doing evil things and convincing everyone that the soul of the dying old lady who baked cookies was the evil one, not the soul of the twin sister that no one knew was in there because if it was, they wouldn’t need the soul of a dying lady?!
How can we make this better? All this soul switching, dying crap is so…confusing. Don’t throw random acts of murder and violence into a backstory to make the story more dramatic. There was so much potential with the fiance who went crazy and joined the Cultist and tried to convince his bride-to-be to join as well. Maybe she would have been swayed by their words and joined willingly, which could have been very interesting to read and play with! But the stabbing and murder is just too much and so over done.
No one really knows how souls work in Azeroth, so it would be best to avoid shoving souls in different bodies to save lives because we don’t really know what it right or wrong in terms of lore.
Also, this is Azeroth. Drop the Japanese names, for crying out loud. If we wanted to watch an anime about souls, we’d just watch Bleach.
From Goldshire With Love
When you list yourself as a “Damn Good RPer,” you’re really just asking for judgement.
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Special AND different? Color me interested. (more…)
Darling, It’s Better Down Where It’s Wetter
Take it from me.
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“Race: Mermaid” Okay, it’s right up front. Not like she’s being koi.
The Measure of a Man
Sometimes we just throw our hands up in the air and ask why.
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What kind of family name is Silverwolf, anyway? It’s like you’re asking for lycanthropy.
House of Wolves
What do you do when you want to play a race, but can’t stand to play one?
Roll a character that is shoved into said race’s lore for no real reason!
Personally, I’d rather have the half elf/half dragon/half eredar character that it put in the race section.
Ravenwhy?
Existing lore is for chumps.
Why be one thing when you can be two great tastes that make you vomit together, and then get transformed into a third thing? Obviously.
Lore, Interrupted
We all like More Dakka, Time Lords, and tieflings, but we don’t bring that stuff to Azeroth for some pretty simple reasons.
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This fellow might not have a big flashy canon behind him, but the idea’s the same.
Shut Up, Archimonde! You’re Not My Real Dad!
I’m pretty new to Kaldorei lore. I’m getting into the lore with my new druid, who just hit 85 (Run me through heroics, dammit!) and I’m interested in meeting other Kaldorei roleplayers. (Say hi to me ICly, ya ya?)
Sadly, when I am in Stormwind (Which is much of the time because Darnassus is so confusing in terms of banks and AHs and my guild RPs there), I usually find night elves like this.
Extremely tall night elf half Eredar in red armor that isn’t Mongraa? What has this world come to?!
Morning, Angle
I don’t know about everyone out there, but I certainly needed a nap after the appearance tab of this fellow. Now for the bio.
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Nightmare Moon-whisper
Of course I’m gonna make the My Little Pony joke. Hope you liked it, because it’s the last bit of joy you’re going to have for a little while.
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“Fallen Archangle” Is that supposed to say Archangel, or is this some new rank thing? Have to be clearer and less obtuse.
What the Fel?!
Lanuria here! I’ve been gone for a while thanks to vacations and training for my second job, but things are settling down and I’m ready to get back to writing for your enjoyment!
My vacation was great, for those who care. My nephew, who is almost four, is turning into quite the little nerd. Maybe in a few years he will be getting his own computer, a WoW account and learning how to make a decent, lore following character.
Or he’ll turn into whatever the hell this is. I can only pray to the nerd gods above that this fate doesn’t befall my geeky little nephew.
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Why wouldn’t someone want to walk up and talk to someone with a roleplaying style of “Devious/Aggresive Full-Time”, sounds like a fun time to me. So does the “Race: Fel Orc” bit!
Ladies, Contain Your Orgasms
I beg of you, one at a time.
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How are we mortal fellows supposed to compete?
Some of My Best Friends are Ugly Girls
She’s not just a piece of meat, people. She’s a big piece of muscle.
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We’ll start at the end: “(Go away lore whores, don’t care what you think.)” First of all, you never put a period at the end of a parenthetical. Just saying. Second, we’re not lore whores. That would imply we got paid. We’re lore sluts. Third, you may not care what we think, but I think we have a readership that does.
All Annadria, All the Time
Only fitting that a few weeks after I get into a Dark Sun game, this comes a-floating into my inbox, thanks to commenter Palindrome.
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“‘Lady’ ‘Half-breed’ ‘Vermin’ ‘Ranger’” Heart? Seriously, though, worst list of potential tramp stamps ever. Follow me past the break where we end up in “da” club getting our Moongrind on.
Call Varendil Dawnblade to the Stand
Varen here. For all the poor decisions represented here on the site, there’s one thing we haven’t yet featured: a goblin. Today, that streak ends… sort of.
Our first goblin on RPL and it isn’t even a real goblin.
Lanuria Dawnblade, a.k.a. Courtney Adler, aspires. She's an aspiring DM, aspiring photographer, and aspiring wife. She lives in Monroe, Wisconsin and complains about the weather far too much. She enjoys The Big Bang Theory and singing the songs from Glee.
Varendil Dawnblade, a.k.a. Taylor Vincent, is a 22-year old writer, student, World of Warcraft player, and 4th Edition DM. He lives in Monroe, Wisconsin with his fiancé and their jade plant, Esmeralda. He likes Douglas Adams and The Venture Bros. He hates Toni Morrison. Don't even ask. 
