Mommy and Daddy Issues
Lan here. You know, there are times we get submissions and I shouldn’t even read past the first screenshot, but morbid curiosity keeps me going.
Just let those two last names sink in for a moment. All nice and angry now? I know I am.
Thanks to Zara’beth of The Silver Twilight Society for the submission!
Argunon and On and On and On
I empathize somewhat with someone writing draenei history, because Blizzard seems content providing none of it, but making yourself the hero of everything isn’t really the best way to go about it.
Don’t you love it when people can’t follow simple directions?
Hopetakerawayer
It might be time that RPL’s little corner of the internet stopped hiding in its little corner.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
“King Elendïl Hopebringer.” Okay, just ignore this part for now, because believe it or not, everything good about this RSP happens in spite of this name.
Imperi-No!
Lan here, relieved to offer a death knight that isn’t a vampire.
You will read this.
Let’s play Count the Clichés! Are you ready?
Shampire
I’m weary of beginning at the beginning and ending at the end. Let’s Tarantino it a bit.
Click to embiggen.
“[[ PS: I DESTROYED the rules of Lore. ]]” Oh boy.
Girl I Must Warn You
I thought that when Cata dropped, everyone would forget about Darkfallen. They were a scourge among the Scourge and a bane of all of us who actually liked vampires before Twilight.
Mmm. David Boreanaz. So delicious.
Ah, but I’m getting off track and dizzy. Vampires! WoW! Two great things that go worse together.
I can understand not noticing your hair is getting a little grey in the back, but not noticing your skin is getting grey?
FFA: I Saw a Werewolf Wearing a Toyota in East L.A.
Varendil and I are busy getting ready for our weekend adventure to see the original masters of making fun of bad things, Cinematic Titanic! Since we are going to be gone for the weekend enjoying the riffing styles of Joel, J. Elvis, Mary Jo, Trace, and Frank, we are going to let you guys in on the fun. Our subject this weekend is Locath Iron Fang, a worgen warrior.
- You must embiggen.
So, sound off in the comments with your jokes and don’t forget to give our friend here a little advice as well. We’ll be back next week!
Subterranean Pitlord Blues
It’s hard to read timelines with a blindfold and no eyes.
Click to embiggen.
Life is what you make it. I made it into tearing into things like this.
Pot to Kettle: You Black, I’ll Kill You
The smallest iota of self-awareness and I’d call this a troll, but I have so little faith in roleplaydom at this point that I’m willing to believe almost anything.
Click to embiggen.
Dear God, what does qualify as a failure to you?
The Hardest Button to Button [Slightly NSFW]
There are times we get things that just make us shake our head and wonder if anyone has been listening to us this past year and (almost) a half. This is one of those.
A royal banker and an extremely Jewish sounding last name? I would be slightly offended if I didn’t make that joke myself.
Of the Coruscant Williams
Just because the planets rhyme doesn’t mean you should put your fan fiction there.
May the Force be with us.
Bainthur, Done That
When is a worgen not a worgen?
When it was a princess that got killed, then revived by somebody and became a necromancer… or something.
Seriously?!
You named your oracle “Delphi?”
That’s not her Justice League name or anything, that is her straight up first name. Terrific.
Free For All: I’m Turning Japanese
It’s been a while, eh? We have a lot of good posts in the works right now, but things like D&D, social lives and work has caused us to slack a bit on you guys and for that we are only somewhat sorry.
Maybe we just wanted to give a break from the fail? Now that we are getting our butts into gear, let’s get back into the swing of things with something short, sweet and kawaii.
- クリックして大きなに
Now, I’m not too big on anime. I’ve seen the normal Naturo/Bleach/Pokemon/yaoi that I hid from Varendil when I moved, but I’m pretty sure that this character is a rip off of something I haven’t seen. We have demon spirits, wings, and a voice by an anime character, not the VA. I don’t even know where to begin with this one, which is why I am going to leave this for you all.
But there should be some advice here, because I am the nice one on this site, so to Kokkoro 애교 kawaii desu ni chan, I will leave you with a Spot of Good Advice Varendil wrote a while back on how to take what you like from your crazy animus and make it into something real. Of course, you should always read up on the lore first to see if this character will work. Titan creation with wings and demonic outbursts is fun if you’re playing on Gaia, but this is WoW and you should stick to the lore when roleplaying here.
Readers, do you have any other advice for our friend here?
Modern Marvals
We don’t like to revisit old RSPs here on RPL, because we don’t want it to seem like we’re stalking people or continuing to beat a dead horse. Recently, though, a reader sent in the RSP of Marvalai, someone we’ve covered before on the site. It seemed worth the attention.
As you can see, things haven’t improved. This got us thinking. While we in no way want you, our loyal and pleasant-smelling today readers, to go harass people we feature on the site – we’re grateful that you don’t – maybe, just maybe, someone needs to tell Marvalai’s player what’s up. After all, a quick glance at Marvalai’s RSP reveals a few things of note:
A Serious Lapsus in Judgment
Alternate title: Don’t Fear
Happy New Year! It’s funny how we all tend to expect a new year to bring a breath of fresh air, a new start. Well. The more things change…
“Eyes: Purple? Race: Demonic.” Oh, this is gonna be a ride.
The Craven
Once upon an evening dreary
as I pondered quantum theory
on a deeper Wikipedia bender than I’d ever had before;
over the din of my typing, from my speakers came a piping
of the sound of Lan-Lan Skype-ing a new image to abhor
‘Tis some RSP,’ I muttered, ‘a new baddie to abhor.
This it is and nothing more.’
Lamenters Gonna Lament
I hope you’ll agree this was worth the wait.
As is true anytime you’re dealing with Norse-themed Warcraft stuff, this post is best enjoyed while listening to Led Zeppelin.
At the Bottom of the Slippery Slope
Morning, folks. Some people don’t realize that roleplay isn’t like law, where if it’s not expressly forbidden it’s okay. Roleplay’s a social contract, and just because you don’t know you can’t do something doesn’t mean you should. Take this guy for example.
Strap in.
“Wull-varr,” as Saurfang Would Say
Begin flashback, circa early 2010
“Hey Varendil! How long do you think it’ll be after Cata drops before someone rolls a worgen and they say it’s a wolvar?”
“Don’t get those ideas in my head, Lan.”
End flashback
Correct answer? Negative sixteen days.
Nerdrage
Varen here. We can bicker and argue all day if we want about what fits in an RSP, what constitutes a special snowflake, whether or not certain lore characters are sues. I think, however, we can all agree that you do not play a middle-aged emo version of the third coolest human ever.
Click, friend, and embiggen.
Uther is not a depressing Al Bundy with a beer gut and weird emo scars around his wrists that rides Ol’ Blanchy, God rest her. What, did he kill himself right before Arthas got to him in your bananas version of the lore? Or was he saved be some depressed spirit healer that took pity on the funhouse mirror version of an Alliance hero that you’ve concocted? After all, it’s a pretty big deal in the real lore that he’s fucking dead so I’d love to see you explain how he’s back to life as a level twenty warrior.
Yep. Couldn't even get the class right.
This pic was sent in (by Auspice of Wyrmrest Accord, who we thank) with the following note: There’s been multiple forum posts about him, but sadly, are all deleted. Well, report this, you sonuvabitch, because you don’t mess with one of my favorite lore characters and get away with it.
How can we make this better? Lead poisoning, the .38 caliber kind. Put this horrible excuse of a character to rest, because I don’t care how well written the physical description is, or how respectful you think the treatment is, because it’s Uther the goddamn Lightbringer. Come back with something remotely original.
P.S.: You all can guess at who I think the second and first coolest humans ever are. Some of you should nail #2, but I doubt you’ll get #1 unless I’ve told you before. So no guessing, Lan.
Captain Marval
Meanwhile, in the parallel universe where people think taking after Mongraa is a good idea…
You'd better believe there's more.
My alternate title was Mara Jaded, but that might be a bit more obscure.
All Worgen No Play
I deeply apologize to you, the reader, as well as the English language in general for that title.
Click for the girthy entirety.
Thanks to @invisibleinkie on Twitter for sending this in.
Anachronism Theatre
I don’t think I can do a witty intro for this one without some booze in my system.
Click to embiggen
Varendil, fetch me my rum! This is going to be a doozy.
Lanuria Dawnblade, a.k.a. Courtney Adler, aspires. She's an aspiring DM, aspiring photographer, and aspiring wife. She lives in Monroe, Wisconsin and complains about the weather far too much. She enjoys The Big Bang Theory and singing the songs from Glee.
Varendil Dawnblade, a.k.a. Taylor Vincent, is a 22-year old writer, student, World of Warcraft player, and 4th Edition DM. He lives in Monroe, Wisconsin with his fiancé and their jade plant, Esmeralda. He likes Douglas Adams and The Venture Bros. He hates Toni Morrison. Don't even ask. 
